Tuttosport links Mario Balotelli with Inter

Just as the dust over the Icardi situation was settling, the writers over at Tuttosport decided they wanted to start some mess related to Inter. They reached into their bag of "names to link to Inter that will cause drama" and pulled out a certain Mario Balotelli. The Turin-based newspaper that pledges allegiance to the team appropriately wearing old prison uniforms opted to roll with it and claimed that Inter could sign him because he costs so little, his age fits the bill to satisfy the new owners, and Roberto Mancini would welcome the player he knows so well. Part of me desperately wanted to avoid touching this subject but since one of the writers here actually does kinda like the idea of Balotelli returning (and because I had so much fun being petty with the Icardi to Tottenham story), we're going to take a closer look at Tuttoshit's "reasons" that Balotelli could make a surprise return back to Inter.

Cheap signing

No prices were thrown around in the article but it is generally agreed upon that Balotelli would not cost very much. Transfermrkt.com has his value listed at just €7m, and with Jurgen Klopp readily admitting that Mario has no place in his side it would be relatively easy to make a deal if Inter was interested. Well there's a reason that Balotelli's value has dropped from an estimated €32m in 2012 to €7m now and that's because he has not exactly set the world on fire in these last few season. He might have started to get his act together off the pitch but he that hasn't seemed to happen on the pitch yet. Right now Mancini has Mauro Icardi, Stevan Jovetic, Eder, and Rodrigo Palacio plus any Primavera attacker he might elect to call up this season. There is literally no reason for him to add another under-performing striker to the books, even if he does come cheap.

Fits Suning's age conditions

Reports have suggested that Suning Holding Group rejected Mancini's requests for Yaya Toure and Pablo Zabaleta because they were too old. Since Mario Balotelli is only 25 Tuttosport reasoned that Suning would like this move. You know what else Suning likes? Keeping fans happy. You know what would most definitely not make fans happy? Bringing Balotelli back to Inter. Whether it was throwing his jersey to the ground during the Champions League semifinal against Barcelona or his two spells at AC Milan, it's not a stretch to say that a majority of fans would not be the slightest bit pleased with the striker coming back to Inter. Too many people feel like that bridge has been burned, and it would take a lot of work to convince the fans to give the man formerly known as Super Mario another chance.

Roberto Mancini wants him

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh that's funny. Reports have suggested that the Inter coach has not been happy so far this summer and a picture of him smiling during preseason has been harder to find than Mew in Pokemon Go. Mancini might have been one of the few coaches to get close to the petulant striker but that does not mean the two of them will get along, especially in what will certainly be a high-pressure season for both men. What Mancini needs is a weekend spa getaway, not a player that he has gotten into at least two verbal (and nearly physical) confrontations.

So moral of the story here is Tuttosport is shit (but let's be honest we knew that already). Was this article entirely necessary? Probably not. Was this story fun to write? Yes, and I hope you enjoyed reading it.