It is no secret in the year 2018 AD that Marcelo Brozovic lives on a completely different planet to the rest of civilised society.
Whether it be through his infuriatingly inconsistent performances for Inter, his unwillingness ever to talk in public or indeed his, shall we say, alternative posts on social media, we have more than enough evidence to be safe in the knowledge that describing the Croatian as an ‘enigma’ would be to do him no injustice whatsoever.
Just in case someone hadn’t quite received the message, though, Brozo provided us with yet more evidence last week - on New Years Day to be precise.
While the majority of Inter’s players and supporters were recovering from their alcohol-heavy celebrations and turning their attention towards Friday’s crucial match against Fiorentina, Marcelo was busy inaugurating the Epic Brozo Caffe Bar with his family in Croatia.
Yes, that is its official name.
The cafe-bar is located near to where Brozovic grew up, in Velika Gorica in Zagreb County (Ulica kneza Domagoja 16A, Velika Gorica is the precise address, should you ever be in the neighbourhood and in need of a novelty coffee), and named after the midfielder’s trademark celebration that became such a hit with team-mates and fans during the 2015-16 season.
What’s more, its logo features the emoji that has since become attached to the gag ( ), as you can see from the sign above and the sachets below.
If you’ve had too good a day before reading this and fancy addressing the balance somewhat, I highly recommend checking out the rest of the cafe-bar’s Instagram page (here), where you will find a series of posts in which customers are merrily imitating the Epic Brozo pose.
Slightly less existentially troubling are the pictures from inside the place itself, which you can find on their Facebook page (here). Not too shabby, all things considered...
As the great man himself is currently off earning a living in Italy, the day-to-day running of the business will be entrusted to his younger sister Ema, who has already become a hit with many Interisti since the Croatian joined the Nerazzurri in January 2015. (This should explain why.)
However Marcelo did manage to find the time to pay the cafe-bar a first visit last week, and by the looks of this picture he very much enjoyed his time there too.
If his aim at a darts board is as good as his aim at the net, then... well, he’s probably not a very good darts player.
The best thing about that post is the comment that’s been left underneath: “you’ve found your sport.” They must be an Inter fan.
So there you have it: Inter are in crisis but Brozo isn’t bothered, because with his new family-owned business he’s about to get even richer than he already was.
If you ever find yourself in Velika Gorica area and you’re at a loss as to what to do, be sure to take a visit to the inaugural Epic Brozo Caffe Bar. I’m sure you won’t regret it.